On finding employment

In what was perhaps not one of my best moves (at the time, anyway), I left university earlier this year. I had a great time there for the most part, at least in first year, and built such good friendships and gained valuable life experiences. Or something. But I hated the actual university part of it. So I took the decision to leave. When Murray left and moved back to Perth he took a shit job as a cleaner and worked it for a year and a half, so I was expecting, without a degree and such, to have to do the same. As much as I wanted to move back to Glasgow, to be in the city I love, it was really unlikely to happen for at least a year anyway.

So when I moved back to Perth and May I started looking for a job. I first looked to my previous employer, B&Q, since I had a good time there last year, and although it was minimum wage, the work’s alright and it would allow me to clear my student debts eventually, before making the move to Glasgow. They weren’t hiring so I started applying to pretty much everything on S1Jobs. I’ve sent my CV to everything from Tech Support for a second-hand car company to selling bikes at Halfords, even getting a telephone interview from a call centre. After sending out probably upwards of 100 CVs I was nearly ready to sign onto Jobseekers until I find a cleaner job or some bollocks. I know it’s only been perhaps 8 weeks since I got back to Perth, and many people have been seeking jobs for months and years, but I was getting really rather depressed.

That was until last Thursday when I was awoken by my telephone.

“Hi, it’s <redacted> from <redacted> in Glasgow, is that Ruairidh Barnes?”

“Yes, speaking…”

“Hi, we’d like to invite you to an interview”

My face lit up. Glasgow!

“Excellent, would Wednesday be okay?”

“Yes, Wednesday at 1pm? I’ll send you an email with details”

I said thanks and we hung up. Excellent.

I was going to be in Glasgow on Wednesday anyway due to seeing Iron Maiden, so that made for a long day. I spent the week reading everything I could about the company, and the man who was interviewing me. He went to the same uni as me, he was a research fellow in the department with which I was a member. Perhaps the fact that I left would stand against me? I was pretty nervous. I’m not really qualified on paper for a Graduate Software Engineer job, I think. Although I was as confident as I could be given the circumstances, nobody I think truly believed I had a chance.

So I got me a shirt and a tie and had a shave and left for Glasgow. Then I got on the bus to the company offices. I was 10 minutes early because I roll like that.

“Hi, I’m <redacted>, you’re Ruairidh Barnes?”

We shook hands and he led me into the interview room. This is unlike any interview room I’ve seen on TV, I thought. 3 very comfy lounge chairs and a whiteboard. The man wasn’t even wearing a tie! This is my kind of interview. He asked me what I knew about the company, I told him, standard stuff. Then we got onto the technical questions.

“Please explain polymorphism”

I know this. I use it all the time in personal projects. And yet my mind drew a blank. That’s it, I thought, interview’s over. I’ve fucked up. Oh well. Waste of a tie.

I started babbling some bullshit. He was clearly unimpressed, but asked me to write out some code on paper, using polymorphism. I did so since it was simple enough and he seemed happy enough.

“Right, well, I’d be delighted to offer you the job!”

Wait, what?

“If you had a degree, we’d pay you <more>, but we’ll start you off on <excellent for no degree>, you understand, right?”

Wait, what?

Like, seriously, what?

“You’ll start on the 1st of August, 2 weeks of training then straight onto projects, depending on what we have”

He gave me a tour of the office, and with a promise of receiving the contract in the mail, I left. I was expecting some catch, but it simply didn’t come. I am literally the best person ever.

I start my career on the 1st of August. I’m excited.

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